More Than Words
by lileve1
Summary: After five years of marriage, two of those years being nothing but two acquaintances living under the same roof, Bella decides to leave Edward in hopes that he will try to win her back. Does Edward have a secret or did he simply fall out of love.
1. More Than Words

**A/N: I got a story idea but I am not sure it's any good. I only have had one review on my last story but I am still writing chapters because I have enjoyed writing it even if it's not that good. I know i am not the best writer but I think I will get better over time so if you read my story's please review and let me no what you think I would greatly appreciate all the advice I can get. Compliments help to. Because this is just an idea I had I might not finish it or I might just rewrite it but I thought I would post it to see what you all think.**

**I have decided to have the name of songs for my chapters so this one is More than Words by Extreme.**

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**More Than Words**

**BPOV**

Here I was sitting in front of the three dollar anniversary card I bought at Hallmark. I had my pen in my hand but every time I brought it down to the paper I could not for the life of me come up with something to write. You would think with me being a writer of the best selling romance novels of the year I would be able to write a few sweet loving sentences for my husband. I wanted to write something nice to let him know that still after five years he was my everything and I still loved him very much. Truth was with everything that has been going on with us I could not lie to him. I still loved him but I did not know if I was still in love with him anymore or if he was in love with me.

I moved to Forks my senior year of high school after my mother remarried. I felt like I was intruding on her new life so I decided to spend some time with my father. It was only going to be a year and than I could move to Seattle for collage.

I met Edward the first day of school in biology class, he was the most gorgeous guy I had ever seen, still is, but anyways after talking for a bit he asked for my number. He called that same night and we talked for hours, we actually talked until the sun came up. When I got to school the next day Edward was waiting for me. As soon as I stepped out of the car he grabbed my bag from me and took my hand "You ready to go?" he asked me. I was so stunned by his actions that I just nodded my head up and down.

After that day we were inseparable. We never talked about what we were to each other, it was always just assumed that I was his and he was mine. On graduation night Edward confessed his love and that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. I of course wanted the same, I really did love Edward with all my heart, he was my first everything.

That summer we eloped to Vegas. The only people there were my best friend Alice, her boyfriend Jasper, Edward brothers Emmett and his girlfriend Rosalie. We kept it a secret from are parents out of fear of what they would say about us getting hitched so young. We kept it from everyone for about a year, we would have kept it a secret longer but Emmett and his big mouth had to blurt it out one night at Sunday dinner. His parents were actually happy that we were married, ecstatic is more like it, they were just disappointed that we felt like we had to keep it a from them. When I told Charlie he felt the same way. Him and Edward got along great from the beginning so he was actually glad it was Edward and not someone he did not approve of.

I had never been more happy than those first few years of are marriage. Edward was a total sweetheart, he would bring my flowers at least once a week, he was always doing little things to let me know how much he loved me, like text me little flirty pick up lines or making me breakfast in bed and not to mention how much of a gentlemen he was when he would pull out my chair or open my door, but the thing I loved most was how he was always touching me, not in a sexual way, although that was more than words, I mean in a romantic 'I don't ever want to let you go' sort of way. Like whenever we were walking somewhere he would have his hand at the small of my back or how he would play with my fingers when we would hold hands.

In the third year of are marriage we were at are ultimate high, I did not think we could get anymore happier and I was more right than I knew. That same year, a few months after my twenty first birthday, my first book was published. When they saw the numbers that it was drawing in they asked me if I wanted to go on tour. I wanted it so bad but I could not fathom leaving Edward when we were doing so well, I did not want to be away from him for long periods of time. He told me that if I did not take the opportunity I would regret it the rest of my life. He was right. After the tour I was asked to write a sequel to the book witch I full heatedly agreed, I already had part of it written.

Edward was in his first year of med school. He had worked just as hard or harder than I had to be where we were in are lives. The only thing I regretted with the tour was not being with him every day. I missed him terribly. He was so busy with school that most of the time we would miss each others call so we mostly communicated through voice mail or emails. After awhile I got so depressed that they let me leave the tour early.

After I got home I knew things where different. I wasn't actually sure why after a few months of being apart that are whole marriage would just slowly go down hill. I thought the saying went that 'Absence makes the heart grow fonder', not with us, it was more like 'Absence makes the heart wonder'. When I was back at home Edward was so distant that I knew something was wrong, when I tried to talk to him to see what was wrong he just played it off as stress. I knew that it was more than that but I did not want to push it.

After a few weeks I was tired of him being so distant, we hadn't made love sense before I left on tour the only thing I got were a few pity fucks and a few chase kiss's before we would go to bed. The words I love you became so rare that it started just being love you and than he stopped saying it all together, when I said it to him he would just give me a short 'you to' and that was it.

When I told Edward what was happening he couldn't deny that we were drifting. He told me things would get better and I really thought they would. But after another week went by he started drifting again. I decided to leave it alone for awhile. I thought maybe he would come around on his own.

He never did come around. After my next book was published I went on another tour. The whole time I was gone I was trying to get through to Edward but he would never pick up his phone so I finally gave up after awhile. I did not understand what his deal was. He was pushing me away and he didn't even care.

"Bella I'm home" Crap, Edward was home and I still had nothing on the card. I hurried and wrote the only true words I could think of

_I hope you know I still love you. __But I can't deny how much I miss us. __Happy Anniversary _

"I'm in here Edward." I called back to him sealing the envelope.

"Hey, are you writing?" I shook my head and got up to hand him the card. "What's this?" He asked. I gave him a look that said 'Hello what do you think it is' but he still looked at me clueless. Please don't let him say he forgot, I know he has been busy but I never would have thought he would forget the day we became husband and wife.

When he read the card his face went as red as a tomato, I could see the emotion behind his eyes, it looked like he was embarrassed, guilty and a little bit of anger witch I am sure was directed at him self for forgetting.

"Bella I am so sorry, I totally spaced it, I have been so stressed with school that I forgot." He apologized but I was not letting him off that easy, this was unforgivable. I was really angry and I think he could tell. "Bella I am really sorry, I will do anything, we could go to dinner or a movie." I still was angry I don't think anything he could say would help. "You know I love you, please just say something." You know I love you, how could I know that he never showed it let alone said it.

I began to feel tears in my eyes and I did not want to cry in front of Edward I wanted him to know I was really upset with him and not just for this for everything I have had to go through with out him even caring. I thought maybe tonight we could plan a trip to get are relationship back on track, he had some vacation time with school coming up and I was going to take advantage of it.

Well that was until tonight. Maybe we had nothing left that was important to him. I pushed past him so I could cry in the privacy of my bathroom like I had been doing everyday for the past few months. I don't know why I have put up with it for so long. I guess it was because I really wanted back what we had. My heart still told me I was in love with him.

"Bella come on." Edward banged on the bathroom door. "I said I was sorry what more do you want." _You _is what I wanted to say.

"I'm fine I am just going to jump in the shower before I go to bed." I tried to sound like I was fine with it. I knew he would leave it alone.

The rest of the night I through my self into my writing, at least I could give my characters a happy ending.

Edward past the office a few times as if he was going to say something but he never did. I went to bed after a few hours of writing. Edward was already in bed doing his school work.

"Hey." I said climbing into bed. I was always told never to go to bed angry but I didn't think that was going to happen. I didn't have anything in me left. I had already tried everything to fix are marriage. "I guess it's ok that you forgot I should have expected it with you being so busy and stuff."

"Yeah I guess." Was all he said.

"Ok, well it is still are anniversary we could still celebrate." I said in my most sexy voice but I still got nothing. He didn't even look up from his books. "Or not." I held back the tears that were threatening to spill out. Maybe he was just not attracted to me anymore. It had been a few weeks sense we have been intimate together and even than it was just a quickie so we could both get off. I was sure he would have blue balls by know unless he has been cheating. I didn't want to even think about that. It never even crossed my mind before know, I didn't think he would ever do that to me but know I was having second thoughts. So I did the only thing I could think of. I through myself at him. I closed his book and pushed it out of the way so I could climb on his lap.

"What are you doing I have a lot of studding I have to do before tomorrow ." I didn't listen, I just started kissing his neck. "Bella." He said but it wasn't a moan. "Bella really I have to study." I just climbed off his lap and under the covers on my side of the bed. I herd Edward sigh besides me, I wondered if he knew how bad he was hurting me.

"Night Bella." Edward said shutting of the lamp on his side of the bed. So much for studding.

"I thought you had to study."

"Ummm yeah well I'm actually really tired." He always made up excuses. I wished he would just tell me so I could fix it because right now I am willing to do anything to get out of this even if that means divorce. I sat up and turned the light back on I had had it.

"I can't do this anymore Edward. We are married but don't even have a marriage we barely even have a friendship the only reason we talk anymore is because we live in the same house." I was half yelling half crying but I was going to finish what I needed to say. "What happened to us Edward we were so happy. Do you not want me anymore because you sure as hell don't show it if you do. You forgot are fifth year anniversary for heavens sake, one you said that if we ever made it to would be special. Edward the only time we ever have sex is to get off and we haven't even done that in awhile are you not even attracted to me anymore?"

"Bella I have just been stressed I told you."

"That's not it and you know it. You don't even hold my hand anymore or kiss me passionately. You don't even tell me you love me." If I wasn't crying hard before I was now.

Edward pulled me into a hug and it had been so long sense I felt that spark. "Bella you have to know that I love you, I am sorry I have been so busy but I am trying to build a good life for us." I knew he was working hard but I didn't think that that meant he would have to put us aside so he could have a career. If that was it I would say screw it I'll live in a cardboard box if it means we would be together.

"Edward you shouldn't be leaving me out of your life." I looked at him "I have wan to be there for you but you won't let me in. I want you to still care about us but it seems you haven't so I think we need some time apart."

"What do you mean some time apart?"

"I mean I am going to go stay with Alice for a little while."

Edward looked shocked at what I was saying. I wasn't sure why though he had to know this was coming if things weren't going to change. "So your just going to leave." I looked at him.

"Yeah I am. I have tried the past year to get us back to what we used to be but I'm done if you want this than you are going to have to fix it."

I got up and grabbed my bag from out of the closet. Alice only lived across town and it wasn't that late I knew she would still be awake.

"Your leaving tonight?" I didn't even answer him I just left without another word.


	2. Take Tomorrow

**Take Tomorrow**

The last week has been the most depressing of my life. I have been a total zombie living on autopilot. It has been harder than I thought not being able to see Edward everyday even if we did barley talk. He hasn't called me all week to see how I am. Every time I think he has just fallen out of love I get a huge pain shooting up my body and I collapse to the floor.

When I got to Alice's house last Wednesday night she gladly took me in with open arms no questions asked, well except the one where she was wondering why in gods name I never told her we were having problems, she had a feeling we were not doing well but she did not want to ask unless I brought it up. The reason I never told her was because I really didn't even know what are problem was, or more like his problem. And really who wants there best friend, one that has the white picket fence, perfect husband and two point five kids to find out you are having trouble in your marriage.

Edward sure hasn't said anything to his family and because of that Sunday dinner was the only time it seemed like we were normal. It seemed like the only thing he put all his effort into anymore was school, it was always his escape.

I have been moping around the house all week. I have been in total writers block so I had to get my deadline pushed back. Alice kicked me out of the house today and locked the door. She said I needed to go get my husband back or stop moping and move on. I think she just doesn't like seeing me like this, that and she wanted some alone time with Jasper while the girls where at play group.

I decided to go check out the new music store that just came to Seattle. I thought maybe some new music would help me get some inspiration to write.

The door chimed when I opened it, the man at the front desk looked up and asked if I needed any help, I told him I was just going to take a look around, he than proceeded to tell me that if I wanted to listen to a certain cd before buying it I could take it and scan it in the computer in the back of the store. I thanked him and walked over to my personal favorite the rock section.

I was scanning through the cd's when someone next to me tried to grab my attention. "Excuse me I saw you standing over here by yourself and I thought you might like some company." I looked up to see a guy about my age, he was really cute, just about as good looking as Edward but in a different way. He was really tall about 6'3 and he was really tan. He had short brown hair and brown eyes. If I wasn't married I probably would have taken him up on his offer to join me.

"Ummm that's really nice of you but I don't think it would be a very good idea." I gave him an apologetic smile than went back to looking through the cd's.

"Oh why is that, are you married or something because I have been watching you and I didn't see a ring on your finger." I looked down at my left hand.

"Actually I am I just forgot to put on my ring this morning." Truth was I didn't have one. The ones we got in Vegas gave me hives so I had to stop wearing it. Edward said he was going to get me a new one as soon as he graduated med school.

"Well I have to admit I was trying to pick you up. I should have figured that a beautiful women would already be taken." He rubbed the back of his neck, I'm sure out of embarrassment. "Are you sure you don't need the company, it's just you looked kind of lonely……….It wouldn't hurt if we hung out as friends would it." I thought about it for a second. I really didn't think it would hurt but I new I had to be careful. "We could go to lunch or something, no date, you know you pay for yours all pay for mine." I wasn't sure what he was trying to do by having me go hang out with him but he seemed genuine enough and it wasn't like I wasn't starving for any sort of male affection.

"Sure I guess that would be ok, I haven't had lunch yet and I am kind of hungry."

"Great, my names Jacob by the way." He held out his had for me to shake.

"Bella." I shook his hand.

We decided to walk to the diner that was just down the street from the music store. Jake didn't have a car and I really didn't want to ride in a car with a man I just met. When we got to the diner the waitress sat us in a booth in the back. I order breakfast for lunch and Jacob order the same with a turkey sandwich on the side. I wasn't shocked at how much he order because I was use to it with Emmett.

"So what's your husband's name?"

"Edward Cullen."

"Oh so you're a Cullen." He looked amused.

"What, do you know him." I asked

"No but I know his father, he is the best doctor in Forks." I shook my head. He was the best doctor and he was the main reason Edward wanted to go into medicine. Edward looked up to his father. When he was a little boy and his dad explained to him that he saves peoples lives for his job Edward was amazed and right than and there he decided he wanted to be a doctor but ever sense he started med school he didn't seem to happy with it, I often wondered if he wanted to change his career choice. It never got brought up so I would just push it to the back of my mind.

I was having a lot of fun with Jacob. He made me laugh the whole time witch I needed, I hadn't had a smile on my face for so long that my jaw began to hurt. Talking with Jake reminded me how much I missed having conversations with Edward.

When I first started hanging out with Jake I felt really bad, almost like I was cheating on Edward but than after awhile I was ok with it as long as it was nothing more than two friends talking. I wasn't sure what Alice was going to say about it, I was just hoping she would be to busy with the girls to even ask what I did today.

When I thought of Alice and the girls I realized I had totally lost track of time.

"Oh my god I am so sorry Jake I didn't realize it was so late, I have to go pick up my god daughters." I tried to wave the waitress over so I could pay for my food.

"Don't worry about it I'll get it." I gave him a questioning look. "I promise it wasn't a date."

I handed Jake a ten out of my wallet, there was no way I was going to let him pay. "Take it please I am not letting you pay."

"Alright but only if you take this." He handed me his business card. "If you ever need someone to talk to, strictly friends." I wasn't sure I would call him but I took the card anyways.

"Thank you." He could tell I meant more than just him giving me his card.

He pulled me into a hug, I tried to pull away at first but he wouldn't let me and so I embraced it. I did not want to cheat on Edward but I needed this. "Your welcome."

After I left the diner I went to pick up Emily and Elizabeth from there play group. I promised Alice I would take them to the grocery store to pick up stuff for dinner before we went home. The girls decided they wanted to make pizza for dinner so we went around the store and got everyone's favorite toppings. The girls wanted ham and pineapple and I new that Jasper would want the same. Alice would want plain cheese and I wanted sausage and mushroom.

After we got all the ingredients for the pizzas we picked up some ice cream for desert and went home. I knocked on the door before entering to alert Jasper and Alice we were home.

"DADDY." The girls both yelled running to jump on Jasper sleeping on the couch.

"You must have worn him out." I joked with Alice while she helped me put the grocery's away.

"You know it, he doesn't' get a day off very often." She smiled looking over at Jasper playing with the girls. I couldn't help but be jealous of them. I always wanted kids with Edward but he was to concerned about getting his career on track first.

"So what did you do today before you picked up the girls?" I really was hoping she wouldn't ask that because I knew I wouldn't be able to lie to her.

"Ummm I went to that new music store down town and than to lunch." I turned my head so she wouldn't ask me more about it.

"Well did you have a nice time." I smiled at her.

"Actually I did." She seemed happy about that and left it alone. "Well I am going to get cleaned up before I start dinner." I started to walk back to the bedroom I was staying in but was stopped be Alice.

"Bella you dropped this." I turned around to see Alice with Jake's card in her hands. I went to grab it from her but she pulled her hands away.

"Bella why do you have a card for a car dealership and why does it say 'If you need a friend call me' on the back?"

I grabbed the card from Alice. "It's nothing, I met this really nice guy at the music store and he gave me his card that's all." I tried to sound convincing that that was all there was but she didn't buy it.

"You went to lunch with him." She accused.

"Alice it was just lunch and I paid for my own. I told him I was married. But Alice I really needed someone to talk to."

"Why couldn't you just talk to me."

"Alice I have talk to you, but it felt nice to have someone else." I tried to stress the someone part so she would understand that it was more of the male bonding that I needed.

"Bella are you cheating on Edward?"

"NO." I yelled but a part of me thought I was. "Alice I just don't know what to do, it has been so long sense I had any sort of attention from a guy. And Jake was nice, really nice and he made me laugh." I slid down to the floor putting my head in my hands.

Alice sat down next to me. "Bella I don't believe in cheating, I think you need to break it off with Edward if that is what it is coming to. I want you do be happy no matter who your with but Edward is also my friend and he does not deserve to be cheated on no matter what." She was right and I made up my mind about not calling Jake and just trying to work on my marriage.

"I know I wasn't going to call him." I took the card from Alice and through it in the trash.

I went to my room so I could change into my sweats before starting dinner. Alice was right about me and Jake. Maybe I did need to just divorce Edward. I was sure are relationship was over, I didn't think the time apart has done us any good like I thought it would, if anything it has probably just pulled us farther apart than we already were. I had always said I would do everything in my power to fix my marriage but maybe it wasn't worth it anymore. I still loved Edward and I knew I always would. It's like everyone says 'you never forget your first love' especially if you were married to them.

That night I decided to have Jasper take Alice out for dinner. I felt really bad that I had been living of them for the past week so I thought the least I could do was baby sit.

Me and the girls had a blast making pizza's. We made a huge mess with the flour, of course. We ate in front of the television witch was a huge no no in there family. They promised they wouldn't tell on me if I let them so I did. What is an aunt for if it's not to spoil her nieces.

They fell asleep after watching Cars and I cleaned up the huge mess of flour in the kitchen and made sure there was no traces of food in the family room.

Give me all your fear, Throw it all away. Think about the good things, no matter what they say, we'll take tomorrow baby, yeah, one day at a time.

I jumped to the sound of my phone ringing in the other room. I ran as fast as I could, partly because I didn't want to wake the girls and the other part was because of who was calling.

"Hi." I said in a very calm tone, although I was screaming on the inside that he had finally called.

"Hey."

"I'm really glad you called."

"Yeah me to, I'm sorry it took me so long, I was kind of being a little stubborn after you left." At least me leaving had triggered some affect on him. "So…." he said not knowing what to say, had it actually gotten to the point where we couldn't even talk on the phone. "How have you been."

"You no the answer to that Edward, I have felt like crap because I have know clue as to what has happened to us."

"Bella I am really sorry, I know that it is all my fault I just………"

"What Edward you just what, please tell me what is it already." I cried into the phone, I had tried to keep all my tears at bay but talking to him know I couldn't help it.

"I just have had a lot of things on my mind lately and I am sorry for that, I really didn't want it to come to this, will you please just come home so we can talk about it."

"Edward it's going to take a lot more than talking to fix this." He sighed. "I think you need to work through your problems before I come home."

"I don't think I can without you, please." He sounded worse than I did. I wished he could just tell me what he is so bugged about that it is tarring us apart.

"I can't I'm sorry I have to go Alice and Jasper just got home."

"Bella. Wait." But before he could say anything else I hung up the phone. I wasn't sure what was going to be said during that phone call, I hoped it was him calling to tell me why he has been so distracted but it wasn't.

I ran to the kitchen trash to get the one thing that I promised my self I was not going to use.

Jacob's card.

I knew I probably shouldn't call him but I really enjoyed talking to him. I didn't want Alice to know I got it back out of the trash so I piled some stuff on the top so she wouldn't by chance look in and see that it was gone. I looked at the clock, it was only nine and I new Jasper wasn't bringing Alice home until ten.

I had an hour. I picked up my phone and dialed his personal cell number that he had written on the back.

"Hello this is Jake."

"Hey Jake it's Bella, I'm not sure why I'm calling I just thought I would say hi, I thought maybe we could talk or something, ummmm I probably called to late I'm sorry I should just go." I hung up the phone with out another word from Jake. I sounded like a complete fool babbling like that, I really did not even know what I was going to say when he picked up the phone. I was more embarrassed that I, a married women was calling another man to talk.

Give me all your fear, Throw it all away. Think about the good things, no matter what they say, we'll take tomorrow baby, yeah, one day at a time.

"Hello." I picked up after the first ring.

"Why did you hang up?"

"I wasn't sure If I should have called you." It was the truth.

"Why not because your married, I told you already that we are only friends."

"I know but I don't know if that is even a good idea."

"Bella when I saw you today at the music store you looked so sad and I knew I wanted to do everything in my power to fix that, I want to be here for you, as your friend. I know you and Edward are having problems, for that I am sorry but please don't hesitate to call if you need anything and I mean anything." He stressed the anything part and I was worried he meant physically anything, I definitely did not want to cheat on Edward, I already knew I was going to far.

"Thanks Jake but I really did call just to talk." I hoped he understood.

We sat and talked for the next half hour. Just like this morning it was really nice to talk to him. He was over at his friend Quills house, he put it on speaker phone and I mostly just listed to them argue back and forth. They were both really funny and I found myself laughing more than I did earlier when I was with Jake.

I hung up with him before Alice got home. I programmed his number into my phone under Jane, I didn't want Alice to come across it and I knew I could make up some excuse about Jane being my publishers assistant.

Jake invited me over to his place the next day. I declined at first knowing that I shouldn't but he promised that he was just going to show me his car that he had been working on. I didn't have anything I had to do tomorrow so I excepted after he begged for a good couple of minutes.

After awhile of tossing and turning I was able to go to sleep, the last thoughts on my mind being of Edward.

**A/N: I hope you all like the chapter, please don't stop reading if you think this will be an Jacob Bella story, I have always loved Jacob but could never put the two together. Please Reveiw.**_  
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	3. It's not over

**A/N: So this is a short chapter but I wanted to let you in on a little bit of what Edward has been thinking. I wasn't going to let you into Edward's mind until closer to the end but when I wrote the next BPOV chapter I changed a little bit of how I intended the story to go. Not much so no worries.**

**The song is It's not over by Seconhand Serenade**

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**EPOV**

Edward you idiot.

What the hell is wrong with you?

I couldn't believe it. I had pushed my wife away. I wanted so bad to tell her what i was feeling but I was scared. In truth I was jealous of her and what she had accomplished. I was scared that I was not good enough for her. Here I was still in school and she was on the top best seller list at every book store in the state. I knew that she would publish her books some day but I had no clue that when she did I would feel like this.

I pushed my self in school so I could show her how hard I was working. I wanted to be able to give her everything she always wanted. I wanted to be the provider, I didn't want her to feel like she had to work.

I loved her with every fiber of my being but I could not bring my self to be with her when I knew I wasn't good enough. I never told her how I felt I just pushed myself into my studies.

I truly didn't know what it was doing to her until tonight.

We used to have what people would call the perfect relationship. It always felt like there was no one else in the world but us. When they asked Bella to go on that first book tour I knew I would go crazy without her. Every time I tried to call I would get her voice mail, that's when I knew how busy she was actually going to be. So that's when I decided to throw myself into my school work. I got so scared that if I didn't catch up to her she was going to move on without me.

I wanted to just get over this fear and get backto what we had. I wanted to tell her all of this but I had a feeling I was to late. I knew I was going to have to work really hard if I wanted her back but I also knew that I was going to have to be happy with my self first.

I deserved it. I had put her through more than I knew and I was sorry for that. I wanted to prove to her that I could be the guy she married. I figured after I did that I would be able to talk to her about what I was going through and why I pushed her away.

I went through the motions the week after she left. First I was angry at both myself and her for leaving. More myself than her. After that I drank myself to death, I was sad that I was loosing my wife, the love of my life and it was all my fault.

One night Emmett had to come pick me up from the bar because I had drank to much to even remember who I was. Luckily the bar tender was a friend of his and knew that we were brothers. I was glad that it was him and not Bella, even though I got crap from him about being a total dumb ass and not letting my wife in on what I was going through.

I told Emmett one night a few months age about how I felt like I had failed my wife. I told him that I wanted more with my life, that I didn't want my wife to have to put me through school for something I really didn't even want anymore. At first I wanted to become a doctor because of my father. I was going to quit school but than Bella got her book publish and I freaked out. I knew I had to do something with my life. I know it is a total man thing to say but I wanted to be the one to earn the money. I wanted to take care of her not the other way around.

So I did it. I stayed in school. I didn't want to but I did for her. I pushed myself to the point of exhaustion. I didn't want to think of anything else.

So here I was a week after Bella left. Sitting on my bed thinking how stupid I had been. I had been selfish not sharing things with the one person that I was suppose to share everything with.

I picked up the phone and dialed the number I had put of calling all week.

"Hi." It was so good to here her voice. I had missed it so much. I regretted all that time I should have been listening to her voice.

"Hey." I said.

"I'm really glad you called." That's a good sign I guess.

"Yeah me to, I'm sorry it took me so long, I was kind of being a little stubborn after you left." I wasn't sure what I wanted to say over the phone, I was hoping she would come home so we could talk.

"So………How have you been?"

"You no the answer to that Edward, I have felt like crap because I have know clue as to what has happened to us."

"Bella I am really sorry, I know that it is all my fault I just………" She cut me off.

"What Edward you just what, please tell me what is it already." I wanted to tell her but I wanted her to come home first.

"I just have had a lot of things on my mind lately and I am sorry for that, I really didn't want it to come to this, will you please just come home so we can talk about it."

"Edward it's going to take a lot more than talking to fix this." I already knew this. "I think you need to work through your problems before I come home."

I wanted so bad to fix things between us but I wasn't sure how she would take me not wanting to be a doctor anymore, I wasn't sure if she would regret marring me if she knew I really did not have any ambition in my life anymore.

"I don't think I can without you, please." A tear slipped from my eye.

"I can't I'm sorry I have to go Alice and Jasper just got home."

"Bella. Wait." She hung up and I threw the phone against the wall.

I grabbed my wallet and keys of the nightstand and slammed the door behind me.

I was going to fix this, I wasn't sure how but I was.


	4. Friend Like You

**A/N: I hope you all like this chapter. I really am happy with the way the story is turning out. When I get a few reviews for this chapter I will post the next. The song is Friend Like You by Joshua Radin.**

**JPOV**

I sat around my house for a good part of the morning. I was happy that Bella agreed to come over. When I first saw her in the music store yesterday I was stunned by her beauty, I watched her for a good fifteen minuets before attempting to talk to her. I assumed she was single because she was alone and had no ring on her finger. When I found out she wasn't I wanted to kick my self.

I really did have the worst of luck when in came to women.

When she told me she was married I instantly new she was off limits so I forgot about any sort of relationship I wanted to have . Before I walked away from her though I noticed that she seemed irritated and sad about something. I instantly felt bad for her, she looked like she needed someone to talk to about something. I wasn't sure if it was a good idea but I asked her to lunch, I really felt like I needed to help her.

I made sure to let her no that it would be purely two people having lunch. She was a little worried at first but than she began to relax, we really did flow well together, not as a couple but more in a brother sister sort of way. I hoped she new that I didn't expect nor want any sort of physical thing from her. I wasn't going to be the one to ruin her marriage even if it was on the brink of ending.

It was now noon and I still hadn't herd anything. She said she was going to call me in the morning so I started to really worry about her. I hoped she was ok. I didn't call her in case she was with her husband or something. I didn't think we needed to keep are friendship a secret but she seemed to think we did. I guess the fact that a man is hanging out with another mans wife really isn't the best.

Buzz Buzz Buzz

My phone vibrated in my pocket.

"Where have you been." I picked it up knowing that it was Bella.

"I've been here I've just been…."

"Bella it's fine I understand, you don't have to come over we can meet for lunch again or something." I knew she was feeling a little guilty about accepting my invitation to come over.

"Thanks Jake that probably would be best." She was probably right to.

"Okay well how bout we meet at the same place in like twenty minutes."

"Yeah ok that sounds good…………..Thanks again Jacob."

"No problem see you in a few." I hung up the phone and grabbed my keys. I wanted to make sure I got there before her so I could get us a booth in the back to make her feel more comfortable.

**BPOV**

I woke up the next morning feeling a little bad about how I treated Edward on the phone the night before. I should have just listened to what he had to say.

Wasn't that what I have been wanting for the whole time? For him to speak up.

I really wasn't sure anymore. All I knew was that no matter what he needed to say, I needed space. I wanted him to have his priorities in order before I came home.

Me being his first.

I slept in really late today hoping that I wouldn't have to see Alice this morning, I knew she would ask me what I had planned for the day. I walked into the kitchen to make me some coffee when I realized I was to late. Alice was sitting at the kitchen table reading a book.

"What are you doing home? I thought you had to help in the store today." Alice owned a small clothing store. People could take there unwanted formals or wedding dresses and trade them in for cash. She would resale them for a profit. She wasn't rolling in the dough but it was a place where she was able to play dress up. It was called "My Sister Closet' and the store literally looked like one big closet.

"No, Emily ran a fever last night so I didn't take her to play group. What did you have planed for the day?" I really didn't want to have to answer that question.

"Ummm I'm not sure, I was thinking I would just………oh who are the flowers for." I started to answer her as we walked into the front room but stopped when I noticed the big bouquet of wild flowers sitting on the coffee table.

"There for you actually. I have been waiting all morning for you to wake up so you could open the card." I walked over to the flowers and leaned down to smell them.

They smelt wonderful. I wasn't sure who they would be from. I mean the obvious would be Edward but he hasn't gotten me flowers sense are three year anniversary. I smiled at Alice while I grabbed the card out of the center of the bouquet.

"_I miss you already" _I read out loud, there was no card but it didn't look like Edwards handwriting. I started to think about all the people I knew that would send me flowers. Nobody came to mind. Except.

Jake.

I wasn't sure what Jake was thinking by sending me flowers. I have to admit I smiled at first but new I shouldn't be happy about another man sending me flowers.

"At least Edward is making an effort." Alice said from beside me. I just nodded and let out a quiet 'yep'. I didn't want her thinking that they weren't from him.

I left Alice alone with the flowers so I could go shower. I was a little nervous about going over to Jake's after him sending me the flowers. I didn't want him thinking I wanted more that just a friend to talk to. I really liked Jake but more in a sisterly way.

After I got out of the shower I through on some clothes and put my hair up in a ponytail. I told Alice I was going to go to the office but in truth I was going to Jacob's.

When I was in my car I called him. I knew he probably was wondering why I hadn't called yet. I was suppose to call him this morning.

"Where have you been?" I instantly felt bad for not calling earlier.

"I've been here I've just been…." I trailed off thinking about what I was going to say.

Did I want to tell him that I had been contemplating going to his house or not.

"Bella it's fine I understand, you don't have to come over we can meet for lunch or something." A weight was lifted off my back. I really did want to see him he seemed to make things feel like they would be ok. I just wasn't sure if I wanted to go to his house.

"Thanks Jake that probably would be best."

"Okay well how bout we meet at the same place in like twenty minutes."

"Yeah ok that sounds good……" I wanted to thank him for everything, I actually felt like he was starting to understand that I really just needed a friend. A male friend. "Thanks again Jacob."

"No problem see you in a few." I hung up my phone and contemplated what I could do for the next fifteen minutes. It was only going to take me five minutes to get there especially sense I was already in the car.

I could go back up to talk to Alice but that would only lead into more questions about my marriage. I loved Alice but she was not the best person to talk to when it came to fixing relationships, considering hers was perfect and she's never had to fix anything about it.

I decided just to go early so I would be able to get a booth in the back.

When I got there I noticed that Jake to decided to come early. For the same exact reason apparently.

"I see that you also came early." I said sitting down across from him.

"Yeah I figured you wanted to sit in the back." I knew it.

"You know me so well already." I gave a nervous laugh.

"Sorry I just thought you wanted to talk away from prying eyes."

"No Jake it's fine. And your right but I don't think where really going to have to worry about that." I looked around and noticed we were the only people besides a elderly couple that was sitting at the opposite end of the diner.

Jake chuckled noticing to. "I guess your right. But it's the thought that counts." He smiled at me and I smiled back.

Me and Jake talked more about Edward today. I told him all the reason why I fell in love with him. It didn't seem to bother him to talk about Edward. He was the one that would always bring him up in the conversation. He was asking a lot of questions about when we got married, if we ever thought about kids, what he did for a living, that sort of stuff. I was happy because everything I told him about Edward reminded me about all the reasons why I should hold on to him.

Jacob said it sounded like they would be friends if it was under different circumstances. He was right to, I think that was why I was so attracted to Jacob in the first place. He had the same heart as Edward did, the only difference was Jake still had his and Edward seemed to have lost his somewhere.

"I think that you have heard enough about me, what about you. Are you married."

Jake laughed at my question. "Very funny. But no, actually I'm single right now, well separated. Kind of like you but she's not my wife. We were going to get married but sense I was her first boyfriend she felt like she needed to date around first."

"What's her name?"

"Leah. You would like her, she loves to read like you but is more of a tomboy. She loves sports and old cars, stuff like that." I wondered how long they were together because Jake was twenty five and he said they broke up when she graduated.

"How old is she?"

"She's just turned nineteen. We started dating when she was seventeen. I was twenty three and her parents were not to keen on her dating an older man but when we broke up they were devastated."

"So you actually broke up. Are you guys getting back together."

"I'm not sure. I have tried to date, obviously sense I tried to pick you up. But nobody has come close to comparing to Leah besides you and your married." He sighed. I felt really bad for him. Here I was venting out all my frustrations when he had practically the same problem. "I talk to her sometimes, and I know we both still have feelings for each other but it's already been a year." I hoped that me and Edward would fix are relationship before it got to be that long. Maybe I could help him some how. Show him a way into a girls heart.

That reminded me.

"Jake did you send me flowers?" He looked confused and I instantly knew how stupid I had been for even considering that they weren't from Edward.

"No. Why?"

"Never mind." I shook my head back and forth.

"You know Bella, you shouldn't be so quick to think that Edward wouldn't send you flowers." He was right. I felt even more guilty for how I treated Edward last night. I needed to call Edward to tell him thank you.

I wondered why he didn't sign his name though, he probably just assumed I would know they were from him. I frowned at the thought that he didn't even write I love you on the card.

I talk to Jake a little more before leaving. I told him that I wanted to help him get Leah back. I could tell that he loved her but thought it was the end for them. He was happy that I wanted to help but was leery about how I wanted to help. I wasn't exactly sure about that yet but I would easily figure it out.

I gave Jake a hug goodbye and told him again how happy I was that he was my friend. I felt much better knowing he had his eyes on someone else and that he really was just there as a friend and someone I could talk to.

**Please Review!!**


	5. Meet You There

**A/N: So I know everyone might be a little annoyed with how Bella is acting towards Edward. You have to understand that she has already tried everything she thinks she can to fix things. I know you all are wondering about this grand gesture that supposedly she is waiting for. It's not necessarily what she is waiting for, she loves Edward but is still so mad at him at the same time. She needs her space right now, and Edward understands that. He is not going to go breaking down her door right now even if he really wants to.**

**The song I was listening to when I wrote this chapter is called Meet You There by Simple Plan.  
**

**EPOV**

It has been two whole weeks that I haven't heard or seen from my wife. I've sent her flowers everyday for the past week, each note saying something I missed about her. I really wanted to call her but I was trying to give her some space but still trying to let her no that I wanted her back.

Let's face it, the last phone call she didn't even let me explain anyways.

I knew I needed to do more than just send her flowers but I was at a lost. Everything I thought of seemed to elaborate. I wondered if Emmett could help me, he was could with the simple lovey dovey stuff. He always seemed to know how to get back on Rose's good side. I knew Bella would appreciate more of the simple things anyways.

The flowers didn't seem to be doing anything.

I took a quick shower and called Emmett to see if he was home. When I got to his house he was in the middle of watching a movie.

"Where's Rose?" I grabbed a beer out of the fridge and sat next to him on the couch.

"She had to go pick up some things at the store." He said keeping his eyes glued to the TV.

I grabbed the remote from his hand and shut of the movie. I knew I would get no where if I did not have his undivided attention.

"Hey it was almost over."

"You can finish it later, I need your help."

"Okay so you want to get Bella back?" I shook my head. I needed her back, I finally realized that I have been a total idiot. I took advantage of are marriage by thinking that no matter what we would be together. I stopped putting any effort into it and that was going to change.

"I take it the flowers haven't helped."

"I'm not sure she hasn't called me."

"Why can't you just call her, I think if you just explain to her what has been going on in that stupid little head of yours she would understand." I already thought about that but than I started thinking that it was a good thing for us to have some time apart.

"I thought about that but she made it clear that she wanted some space." He nodded. Right then Rose walked in the door with her hands full of groceries. Emmett jumped of the couch to grab all the bags out of her hands and I instantly felt bad that I never did that for Bella. I wasn't even there most of the time to know she went to the grocery store.

"Here let me help you with these." Emmett gave her a kiss and took all the bags into the kitchen to put away.

Rose took Emmett's spot on the couch next to me. "So how have you been."

"Not good. I really miss my wife." She nodded.

Rose started telling me about all the really cute things Emmett has done for her in the past. I wasn't sure that any of them would work considering this was a much bigger problem than a little spat over a car, witch was the biggest thing that they had ever fought about. They where both very stubborn people that both never wanted to admit that they were wrong.

"Well have you tried anything so far?" She asked.

"He's sent her flowers every day for the past week." Emmett came back in to the living room after putting the rest of the food away.

"Did you send a note?"

"Yeah when I called and order them I had the sells person write something I missed about her on each of the cards."

"Well that's a sweet thought." I smiled. At least Rose liked my idea. Sort of. "You probably are going to have to do more than just send flowers though." "Why don't you write her a letter?"

I thought about it for a second. I could do that but I don't know if she would take it and I don't know if that would be enough. I really wanted to do something really special for her to show her how much I love her.

"I think I could do that but you will have to take it to her I don't know if she would take it from me."

"That's fine, Where going to Alice's for dinner tonight anyways so that gives you one hour to write the letter."

Alright I thought. I can do this one hour is plenty of time to tell my wife how much I love her. I grabbed a piece of paper and pen out of the junk drawer in Emmett's and Rose's kitchen and sat at the table.

_Dear Bella, I want you to know how much I miss you. Nothing is the same without you in my life. I am so sorry for taking advantage of you and not telling you everyday how much I love you. Because I do, with every fiber of my being I do. You have to know that. I know you probably need your space right now and I understand why but please don't give up on us. I am not going to ever stop trying to win your heart back. If I have to wait for you until the end of forever I will_. _I will send you flowers everyday if that is what I have to do. I would marry you again every day for the rest of are lives. Bella, I want you to know how proud I am of you and what you have accomplished. I should have told you that so many times. I know we have a lot to talk about and I am ready when you are. I haven't worked out all my own insecurity's yet but I think I could if you were willing to help me. Please call me sometime I miss your voice so much. I am now wishing I would have been listening to it more this past year. I promise I will make this up to you. I love you. I love you. I love you. Your Husband Edward. _

I think that sounds really good. I want to say more but I hate not knowing what she is thinking or her reactions will be.

I let Rose read the letter. She said that it sounded really good, she was sure that I would be hearing from my wife soon. I stuck the letter in an envelope, sealed it shut and wrote 'To My Wife' on the front.

After leaving Emmett's I went to pick me up a pizza and go home. I was praying that I would get a call from Bella tonight after she read the letter. That was assuming that she would be there.

I know she was staying at Alice's but I had no clue as to what she has been doing with her life these past two weeks. I didn't even know if she was writing.

I hoped that she was.

I still couldn't believe that for the past year and a half I spent my time studding and not with my beautiful wife. I regret every minute I wasn't with her. I miss her voice, her laugh, the way she has to read her books out load. I use to get so mad when I needed to study. Now I'm just regretting not listening to her. Most of all I miss her touch.

Boy do I miss her touch.

I can remember the first time we made love. I hadn't told her I loved her yet, it was more of us getting carried away during one of her petting sessions. It didn't last long for either of us. We both finished in about five minutes.

We forgot to where a condom and three weeks later Bella missed her monthly friend she took a test and it was negative she thought maybe she had just missed that month because she was never really regular to begin with. We waited another month but still nothing. I talked her into taking another test.

It was positive.

We were both really scared. We didn't have any clue what to do next. We new she needed to be seen by a doctor but I really wanted to have a parent who new what they were doing to go with us. We went to my mother, she was always very understanding and I knew she would be there for us no matter what.

My mother made us a doctors appointment but they weren't able to get Bella in for two weeks. When the day finally came my mother took Bella in to see the doctor while I sat in the waiting room, pacing the whole time.

I wasn't ready to be a father. I knew Bella wasn't ready to be a mother either, even though I know she would make a great one.

They were in the room for awhile and the longer they were in there the more I thought about being a parent. I knew I did want to have kids some day. I even hoped Bella would be the person to have my children. I loved her and wanted to marry her.

That day I decided I would tell Bella I loved her. I wanted her to know that I was going to stick around for her and the baby.

When Bella finally came out of the doctor's office she looked, well, lets just say she looked shocked. I wasn't sure why, was she shocked she was pregnant or was she shocked that she wasn't. I remember grabbing her hand and sitting with her on my lap. She didn't speak at first she just sat there.

Than the tears started to come.

That day was one of the worst of my life. Bella told me that she was pregnant but the baby had no heart beat. We had lost it. I was so disappointed. I had finally came to terms that I was going to have a baby, I was happy about it. And than to find out it wasn't going to happen.

The next day Bella was put in the hospital so they could remove the baby. The only people that new were me, Bella and my parents. Her mom lived in Phoenix at the time and her dad probably would have killed me if we told him. My parents were a little upset that we didn't want to tell charlie but they agreed to are wishes. We told him that she was going to stay with Alice for the weekend instead.

I wanted to tell her I loved her so many times after that but every time I tried I chickened out. By the time we were three weeks away from graduation I was starting to get really worried she was going to leave me. I knew I had to tell her. I wasn't going to chicken out anymore.

I wanted it to be special, so after are graduation ceremony I took her to the beach. I will never forget that night, that was the night Bella agreed to be my wife.

**FLASHBACK**

_"Where are you taking me."I turned to look at a blindfolded Bella in the passenger seat of my truck._

_"Its a secret." I brought are entwined hands to my lips to I could kiss the the top of her hand. She smiled but kept her gaze facing the front windshield._

_When we got to are destination I climbed out of the truck and ran around to her door so I could help her out. I pulled her out of the truck but did not let her feet touch the ground._

_"I can walk you know."_

_"I know. But I want to carry you." I walked down the beach to wear I had the surprise waiting for her._

_"Edward are we at the beach?" I chuckled, she probably heard the waves hitting the sand. "Because it smells like the beach."_

_I sat her down on her feet and pulled of her blind fold. "Why don't you look for your self."_

_She gasped as soon as I had the blindfold off. I'm sure she wasn't expecting what she saw in front of her. I had a blanket laid out on the ground with a million of lit candles surrounding it. I had a picnic basket in the middle with a few of the necessity's we would be needing for the night, like snacks, an extra blanket, a flashlight and her graduation present. There was also a bottle of wine and a couple of wine glasses sitting by the basket._

_"Wow, Edward this is amazing." I smiled at her and sat down on the blanket pulling her on to my lap._

_"I wanted to make this night special for you." I kissed her on the cheek. "I have something I wanna give you." I pulled out the box I had hidden in the bottom of the basket and held it out in front of us. "It's not much but I wanted to get you something for graduation."_

_"Edward you didn't have to get me anything, what you did tonight is more than enough." I knew she would disagree with me getting her a present, she was never one to except presents, she said that the only occasion she would ever except a gift with no complaint was on her birthday._

_"I promises it's not much, I hardly spent anything."  She gave me a curious look. "Just open it."_

_I had spent about an hour trying to get it rapped just right so I was a little sad to see my excellent rapping job be torn apart.  When she got it open though and saw what was inside the box I was really nervous.  It really wasn't anything spectacular or extravagant, but I was hoping that it was enough._

_She was quiet for a few minutes after she saw it.  I really couldn't take the fact that I didn't know what she was thinking.  Maybe I should have just bought her something instead of sitting at that damn machine._

_I couldn't take the silence any longer I had to say something.  "I know it's not big or anything, I just thought you would like something like that, It took me like thirty quarters to get it....."  She still said nothing.  "I'm sorry if you don't like it, I knew I should have got you somethi........."  _

_She stopped my rambling with her lips. "Edward it's perfect........Is it true."_

_"More than anything."  She kissed me again but it felt different this time, it was like she was giving me her whole heart.  Everything that we had been through and she was finally giving it to me. _

_After a few minutes I pulled away and rested my forehead against hers.  "Bella I love you so much.  I have wanted to tell you for so long but my brain would get in the way of my heart.  I was worried about what you would do or say, I didn't want to loose you if you didn't feel the same."_

_"Edward I do feel the same.  I love you.  I have always loved you."_

_After the wine was drank we just laid there staring into each others eyes.  I couldn't pull myself away, it was like I could see my whole future in her eyes.  After what seemed like forever of us just looking at each other Bella started to drift of to sleep._

_I couldn't get enough of her, she was so beautiful.  "Bella?"  _

_"Hmmmmm."  She answered on the verge of sleep._

_"Marry me?"  I wasn't sure why I asked right than, all I knew was that I loved her and I wanted to make her my wife.  I know I had no ring and the timing wasn't perfect but it felt right._

_"Okay."_

**FLASHBACK OVER**

I wish that things were as simple as they once were.  When we could just lay there staring into each other eyes with not a care in the world but one another.

I looked over at my clock on the wall and noticed it was midnight.  I guessed if Bella was going to call she would have done it by know.  I walked over to the light switch on the wall and shut it off.  I could still smell Bella on her pillow.  I hadn't washed it sense she left because I wanted to somehow be able to feel her presence in bed with me when I slept.

_I'll meet you there,  
No matter where life takes me to,  
I'll meet you there,  
And even if I need you here,  
I'll meet you there._

YES!

I grabbed my phone of my night stand and settled my excitement down before answering.  "Hello."  

"Edward sorry I know it's late did I wake you?" No I was waiting for your call.

"Nope, how are you doing?"  I wanted to ask if she's read my letter yet but thought I would just let her bring it up. "I really miss you you know."

"I know I got all the flowers..........and your letter."  She sounded sad and I didn't know if that was a bad thing.  "Edward thank you for all that your doing, I'm glad that you still care about us.......It's just that we have been through this before to some extent.  I don't want it to be like before, I really want to fix it this time."

She was right. We had done this before.  Its just before I never told her what I was feeling, I just told her I would fix it.  I tried but my brain could never get over the fact that I wasn't good enough.

"Your right. I want to fix this to, you don't know how bad I want to fix this."

"Edward I just need a little more time to think about some things, for myself."  I knew I didn't want to tell her the extent of what I was feeling over the phone.  I had to talk to her in person.

"I understand. I know I have a lot of stuff of my own to work on and I want you to know that I'm trying.  When your ready to come home I will talk to you about all of it."  She sighed.  "Bella I love you."  A tear escaped my eye as I said those words to her.  It had been awhile and it felt nice to finally be able to let her know I still loved her.

"I love you to........"  I could hear her crying on the other side.  I just wanted to pull her into my lap and hold her, I wanted to be able to wipe away her tears.   "I should go."

Before I could tell her goodbye she had already hung up the phone.

**A/N: Hope everyone likes.  I had a picture I was going to post of Bella's Bracelet but I am having some trouble. It's a really cute silver charm Bracelet with the charms being all the letters that spell out I love you.  I actually have one that my husband got out of a quarter machine and gave to me when we went to a school dance.  I thought it was cute and so i put it in my story. If I figure out how to post it I will let you know.  
**


	6. Don't Say Goodbye

**A/N: So this chapter kind of sucks, I had a miner case of writers block but read and review anyways. I felt like I needed to throw in one more chapter before the next two, and I promise the next two will be good.  
**

**Don't Say Goodbye by Goldfinger  
**

* * *

"Bella, Bella wake up."

"Go away girls it's only nine." I tried to swat the two little away that were jumping on my bed with my pillow. I was up writing the night before and I didn't end up going to sleep until about three in the morning.

"Aunty Bella you got more flowers." I playfully growled at Emily and Elizabeth chasing them out of the room towards the living room where there sat another big bouquet of flowers.

"What is this, like the eighth morning he has sent you flowers." Alice said handing me the cup of coffee that she had waiting for me. I sat by her on the couch and looked at all the flowers Edward has sent me throughout the week.

This morning it was a bouquet of Hydrangeas. "Yep." I said answering Alice.

"Have you talk to him."

"Not sense before he started sending me flowers." I wanted to call and thank him for all the beautiful flowers but for some reason every time I tried I felt really nervous and couldn't even pick up the phone. You would wonder why I felt like that, I mean we were married it should have been easy for me to call him.

"Maybe you should call him, he obviously misses you. What did the card say this time?" She grabbed the card out of the Hydrangeas and handed it to me.

I opened the card to read what it said. "_I miss the way that no matter how far apart we were in bed at night, your feet use to always find mine under the blanket." _I couldn't help the one loan tear that rolled down my cheek. I was getting to the point that I wasn't even sure why we were apart. I wanted so bad to go running back to him but I was so scared it would go back to how it was. A big part of me was taking advantage of the fact that he was trying so hard to get me to come home. He hadn't tried this hard in years and I was enjoying it.

Alice just sat there staring at me, waiting for me to say something about the note. "Ali, I know I need to call him and I will I just need another day or two." She nodded to let me know it was okay. I have been staying with her the whole time Edward and I have been apart and she has been nothing but good to let me live off her.

"Well on another note, Emmett and Rose are coming over for dinner tonight and I was hoping you would help me cook.

I was suppose to be helping Jake today with his girl but I didn't want to tell Alice that. I found out that she wanted to eat at seven so that gave me plenty of time to go see Jake and let him know I would not be able to hang out with him today.

I'd seen Jacob a few times this week, all of which we spent at the diner. We had been becoming such good friends. Jake really wanted me and Edward to get back together. He said that Edward and I have been through to much to give up what we have. Jake has been trying all week to get me to call Edward, he doesn't understand why I don't call, and to tell you the truth neither do I any more.

After I was showered and dressed for the day I went into the kitchen to say goodbye to Alice letting her know I would pick up the stuff for the dinner. After the first couple times of me going out she stopped asking where I was going knowing I would tell her the office. I knew I should have been able to tell her about Jake. I don't think she would have judged me, more like just told me to be careful. I think I just didn't want to listen to what she had to say about it.

Sometimes it's just better for Alice not to know certain things.

When I got to the diner I saw Jacob sitting at are same table we always get. The thing that caught me of guard though was that he was with a really pretty girl. She had the same russet color skin as him, long brown hair and big beautiful brown eyes.

I walked towards the table and when I got to it Jake stood up from his seat, pulled me into a hug and kissed me on the cheek. I was stunned by his contact because he knows my no touching rule. I gave him a questioning look but he looked at me pleading with his eyes for me to understand.

I wasn't sure what he wanted me to understand until he introduced me to the women. "Bella I want you to meet a good friend of mine, Leah." When I found out it was Leah I knew what Jake was trying to pull, he wanted her to be jealous.

"Hi Leah, it's nice to finally meet you, Jake has told me all about you."

"That's funny he hasn't said anything about you until today." I knew it was working by the tone in her voice.

She was jealous, what she didn't know though was that she had no reason to be, Jake and I were nothing but friends and even if I wanted to be he was totally infatuated with her.

I sat down in the booth, Jacob following right after. I wanted to help Jake out, he had been there for me through all that I had been going through, I owed it to him, the only thing was I was starting to feel a little uncomfortable with him being so close to me.

Jacob than proceeded to grab my hand and I had to keep chanting in my head 'just friends just friends.' I tried to forget about how guilty I was feeling by starting up conversation. "So Leah, Jake tells me your going to Portland State."

"Yeah." She answered but did not take her eyes of Jake and I's hands. "For about a year now. How long have you two been together?" She asked.

I looked at Jake hoping he would answer because I honestly had no clue as to what he had already told her.

"Where not together……..officially, but we have been seeing each other for a little while know." It was good that he didn't completely lie but he also didn't tell the truth. If he meant seeing being just two friends getting together for lunch and awhile being a week than I guess it was sort of the truth. She did sort of look jealous, and I instantly wanted to reassure her. I didn't think she seamed like the type of person Jacob should be playing games with.

When I looked at Leah to judge her reaction she looked shocked. She was staring at Jacob and it looked as if she was trying to silently say 'what the hell?'. I felt like I was intruding so I had to look away from the two of them. I felt a little bad for Jake because it seemed that she was expecting him to wait or something.

"I think I am going to excuse myself to the restroom." Leah got up to exit the booth and if I didn't know any better it looked as if she was going to cry. I would know a women running anywhere, I had done it so many times my self.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I slapped Jake on the head as soon as Leah was out of site.

"Sorry, I told her I wanted her to meet a really good friend of mine, I wasn't planning on pretending to be dating you, it just sort of happened."

"I can't believe it, guys are all the same, either they think to much or not enough." I more of mumble to myself. "Look Jake I know when a girl is running to hide her feelings and trust me Leah was running. I've never plaid the jealousy game but it never seems good. I don't see why you can't just talk to her."

"Well I don't see why you can't talk to Edward, _Your Husband_."

"That is totally different and you know it and besides I would never play the jealousy game to get Edward back."

"Fine. What do you suggest I do?"

I couldn't answer him because right than Leah came back. Her eyes were all red from crying and I immediately felt horrible. I wonder if I should be the one to talk to Leah, if she was anything like me she was one to hide all her emotions, and what I have seen so far she did exactly that.

"Sorry, have you guys ordered."

"Oh Jake speaking of ordering, I can't today. I have to help Alice with a dinner for are friends so I have to leave early to help her get ready." Jake was pleading at me with his eyes to stay but I really only came to tell him I wasn't going to be able to come.

That probably makes no sense but it did in my head this morning. "Leah it was nice to meet you, we should hang out sometime."

"Ummmmm sure that would be great." She seamed unsure, but I expected that. I hugged Jake whispering in his ear that that was all he was going to get and he better talk to her.

I practically ran for the door after that, knowing Alice would kill me if I was late. I don't know why she insisted on getting ready five hours early to everything we ever did.

I rushed my way through the grocery store picking up all the items for chicken Parmesan, Emmett's favorite. Alice never told me exactly what she wanted me to cook so that is what I went with. I think Alice called about ten times when I was at the store, I don't know what the deal was, I had only been with Jake an hour and she was already freaking out. I just ignored all her calls knowing I was going to be home within minutes.

When I finally did get there Alice was sitting on the porch waiting for me. I could tell be her expression I was in trouble.

"WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN." She said opening the back door to unload the grocery's.

"Alice it's barely two."

"I know what time it is, I thought you were just going to get grocery's." Oops.

"I had to make a stop first, I thought you would have figured that sense I left so early."

"No, but it doesn't matter anymore, we only have five hours to get showered, dressed, dinner ready and cleaned up." Alice was such a maniac when it came to dinner party's and I was regretting not having Edward here to help me stay calm.

After I was showered, hair done and dressed in an outfit Alice picked out I went to help get the girls ready before I started on the dinner.

When the girls were ready I put them both in an apron so they could help me bang out the chicken. While they did that I started the sauce and put a pot of water on the stove for the noodles. It really was a very easy dish to make but I loved it because when it was done it looked like I slaved away in the kitchen all day.

The time seem to fly by exceedingly fast when I was with the girls because Rose and Emmett popped up out of nowhere. "What's cookin good lookin." Emmett pulled me into hug from behind.

"It's your favorite of course."

"That must mean you love me." He put me down and stuck a spoon into the pot of sauce.

"Emmett wait for dinner." Rose scolded.

She walked up to me and gave me a hug slipping a piece of paper into my pocket. "What's this?"

"Just read it later." I nodded at her. I have to say I was a little worried so I wasn't sure if I was going to wait until later, maybe I could sneak away some time before we ate.

When dinner was done and everyone was still in the living room chatting, I had my chance. I pulled the envelope out of my back pocket and read the letters that were on the front 'To My Wife'. I opened the letter quick in a hurry to read what it said knowing it was from Edward.

I couldn't hold my tears while reading the letter. Edward had not spoke so many words to me in so long, he had never told me he was proud of me and my writing, I always knew he was happy for me and what I had accomplished but to hear him say he was proud of me was the best feeling in the world.

I knew I had to call and talk to him after this. Maybe us being apart was doing some good, maybe that is what we have needed this whole time.

I was so worried about what I was going to say to Edward that dinner flew by in a flash. After helping Alice and Rose clean up we went and sat with the guys in the living room.

"So we have news for everyone." Rose said as she sat down next to Emmett. He was smiling like a kid on Christmas.

"WHERE GOING TO HAVE A BABY!" Emmett shouted out of excitement, I could tell he had been holding it in for awhile.

"Wow that's awesome, I am really happy for you guys." Out of Alice and Rose I always thought I would be the first to have a baby because I was the only one that really ever talked about having kids. But right after I lost my baby Alice found out she was pregnant. I was scared when I got pregnant but I knew that no matter what it would be okay. Alice, she was terrified, she never talked about having kids. I know she wanted them someday, like ten years from high school. If it wasn't for Jasper I don't think she would have kept the baby. She didn't even warm up to the fact that she was going to be a mom until she actually had Emily.

From that day on I don't think I have known a better mother than her. The second Emily turned six months she was begging Jasper for another one.

I never would have thought she would have two before I even had one.

Everyone left around twelve. I wanted to call Edward so I was kind of excited to have the night finally over with.

I knew it was late but I had to call him tonight. After everything he has done he deserved a phone call.

"Hello." I was happy to hear that he actually sounded excited to talk to me.

"Edward, sorry I know it's late did I wake you?"

"Nope, how are you doing?" He took a big breath and I wondered if he was going to ask about the letter. "I really miss you you know."

"I know I got your flowers………and your letter." I paused not sure as to what the right thing to say would be. "Edward, thank you for all that your doing, I'm glad that you still care about us……it's just that we have been through this before to some extent. I don't want it to be like before, I really want to fix it this time."

I really did want to fix it this time, I didn't want him to think I was just going to come home and have him keep hiding things from me. I wanted my Edward back, the one I married.

"Your right. I want to fix this to, you don't know how bad I want to fix this."

"Edward, I just need a little more time to think about some things, for myself."

"I understand. I know I have a lot of stuff of my own to work on and I want you to know that I'm trying. When your ready to come home I will talk to you about all of it." FINALLY. That is what I have been wanting to here for so long, that he would let me into his life, his problems. "Bella, I love you." I couldn't hold the tears now, to here him say those three little words with so much love behind them was such an amazing feeling.

"I love you to…"I cried into the phone. "I should go." I hung up before he got the chance to say anything more, I was so close to packing my bags and going home to him but I knew that it was helping so much right now for us to be apart.

**A/N: So remember if your really good about reviewing you will get two chapters together.**


	7. Can I Come Home?

Sorry no song this chapter I did leave you with a quote though :)

"Your the reason I live, you're the reason I'd die. You're the reason I smile, yet break down and cry. You're the reason I keep going and the reason I fall. But without you in my life I'm nothing at all"

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I don't know what was up with Edward. I think he must have mistaken are last phone conversation to be a really bad thing because I haven't heard from him sense.

It's been a week.

I can't take it anymore. When I told him I needed time, I meant a couple of days not another week. After a few more days I was going to call and tell him I was ready to come home if it was alright with him, but I got worried after all the flowers stopped, I started thinking he had changed his mind.

I don't know why I was the one over thinking things know. "You're the one that wanted space." I looked up from under the covers to see Alice standing in the doorway.

I gave her a 'I know' look and climbed back under the covers to hide.

No use, she climbed under after me. "Ali, why doesn't he want me back?"

"Your thinking to hard, you know he wants you back. What do you expect him to do, come breaking down the door demanding you come home."

"I don't know, maybe, it's just he was so sweet for about a week and than it stopped." I turned on my side to face her, we were still hidden under the covers.

"Bella, I know your worried that things are going to go back to how they were, but just because Edward is not sweet every second of the day doesn't mean things are going back to how they use to be. Maybe it's your turn to show him what you want." She was probably right, I know I told him before I left that if he wanted us to still be an us, he was the one that was going to have to fix it, but I think he had tried hard enough, it was my turn.

"Your right Alice, I think it is time for me to call Edward."

"I'm glad, I know he really misses you." I really hoped so, I know I really missed him. Jake has been yelling at me all week to call Edward, he saw how much I missed him and wanted to go home. Jake said the other day 'If the love of your life want's you back, and I know he does, why don't you just go home and work things out. If Leah even showed any sign of wanting me back I would do any thing in my power to do it." The funny thing was, from meeting Leah at the diner, I knew that part of her still loved Jake. If I was going to get my happy ending I was sure going to help him get his.

"Alice can I talk to you about something?"

"You can talk to me about anything." I knew I could, she was my best friend, I was just worried about how she was going to take it. The first time she found out about Jake she accused me of cheating.

"I need to tell you something but I don't want you to say anything until I tell you everything." She looked worried but sealed her lips with her fingers and pretended to throw away the key.

"Alright, you know how I told you I wasn't going to call that Jake kid." When I said his name her eyes grew wide but she still kept her mouth shut. "Well I called him after I got really upset with Edward on the phone. Anyways, We have gone to lunch a few times sense than. I'm not cheating with him, were just friends. He's a really good guy Alice. I didn't tell you because I was worried you would jump to conclusions. But really there is nothing to worry about, he is in love with this girl name Leah. I've met her actually." I could tell Alice really wanted to say something judging by her reaction but I was glad she was keeping her promise.

I told her a little more about Jake and Leah, I wondered if she knew of anyway to get them back to together, she was always good at scheming her way into people's lives.

"So…..?" I said.

"Well, first of all you should have told me about Jake, I really am sorry for making you think you couldn't. I shouldn't have assumed the first time. And second I think in a way it is a good thing that you have someone besides me who you can confide in."

"Thanks Alice."

"Now for the Jake and Leah thing, I'm not sure what to tell you. If she is anything like you it won't take much to get them together. I think I should meet them."

"I think I could arrange that. I have talked a lot about you and he is dying to meet you, well, everybody for that matter."

"Great because Jasper's mom is taking the girls for a sleepover tonight, so we can all go out."

"And by all you mean?" I was worried she was meaning the whole gang, and if she meant that than Emmett would be there and Edward is always with Emmett.

"Jasper, me, you, Jake and Leah." "Rose has been really sick with her pregnancy so I don't think they will want to go." Good. It's not that I didn't love all of them it was just I wanted to talk to Edward first.

I called Jake as soon as I was finished making the plans with Alice. He was excited to meet everyone and he was happy to know that he was going to get more help with the whole Leah situation. He said that he would call Leah to see if she wanted to come, he wasn't sure if she would considering everything that happened between them at lunch last weak.

He said that after I left the diner he told her that we were just friends and he was sorry that he led her to believe we were actually dating. He said she calmed down a little bit after that but was still upset about something that he wasn't sure about. I guess they haven't really talked sense.

I was more happy for my sake than Jacobs that he told her the truth. I never like to play games with people and I didn't want it to get to Edward some how that I was dating someone when I wasn't.

The rest of the day went by in a blur. I was able to write for most part of the day, I wanted to catch up on some of it. I had been so distracted lately that I could only get a couple of paragraph's written. I think knowing that I would be talking to Edward soon made my mind feel at ease enough to write.

Jake called me back closer in the evening letting me know that they would meet us at the club at seven. From what is sounded like he was really happy that Leah agreed to go.

I think Jake was a lot like Edward when it came to his feelings, It made me wonder if Leah was feeling like me and just waiting for some sign.

I just didn't understand how I could be watching someone go through the same thing as me knowing that all they needed to do was talk when I couldn't even do that my self.

After Mr. and Mrs. Whitlock came to pick up the girls Alice bounced in my room ushering me to the shower so she could help me get ready. Normally I fought tooth and bone with Alice about helping me but I really wasn't up for that tonight.

After I was out of the shower Alice was no where to be seen. I took that chance to call Edward. I really wanted to talk to him. I was a little worried about what he was going to say but I didn't care anymore it was my turn to make an effort.

"Hello." He sounded out of breath when he answered the phone.

"I'm sorry did I call at a bad time."

"NO…I was just moving some stuff around the apartment." I wondered why he would be moving things around are apartment.

"What are you moving."

"Just trying to rearrange the spare bedroom, you know the one we never use." I almost forgot we even had a three bedroom apartment. We decided to get the three rooms so we would have a office and a guest room but sense no one ever stays with us it turned out to be a junk room.

"Oh well that's good I guess……."

"Bella, are you alright, do you need something?"

"No I'm fine, it's just I really miss you. Would it be alright with you if I came home?" I sucked in a breath waiting for his reply. I wanted him to say it was alright. I was homesick, I missed my bed, I missed having my own space, but most of all I missed him.

"God, I have been waiting for you to say that. Please come home, I want you home with me." I let out the breath I forgot I was holding.

He wanted me home, he missed me just as much as I missed him. "Do you want me to come get you?"

"No, I can't leave my car here. I wasn't planning on coming until tomorrow…….Alice wants to go out tonight to Twilight and we probably will get back late so I will come home in the morning. Do you have class tomorrow?" I'm not sure why I asked him if he had class. He always had school on Friday's, he had school everyday of the week for that matter.

"Ummmm….No I dropped my Friday classes." He sounded a little ashamed, I felt bad that he did but I was so happy that maybe he was going to pace him self a little more.

"That's great Edward." I tried to reassure him. "I'm glad your finally letting yourself have a much needed break."

"Thanks Bella, I'm glad you approve." I wondered why he didn't think I would approve of him dropping a class of two. "I don't want to stop talking to you but I have a lot to do if your coming home tomorrow…..I kind of destroyed the place." "I can't wait to see you though, we have a lot to talk about."

"Yeah we do."

"I love you." I don't think I was ever going to not cry when he said those words.

"I love you too Edward, I'll see you in the morning."

After I hung up with Edward Alice came strolling back in the room out of nowhere, she had all her curling irons in one hand and two pairs of shoes in the other. I was now ready for her torture knowing that I was only going to be spending one more night with her. I was going to miss her but I was more that ready to go home.

I rode with Alice and Jasper to Twilight. I wanted to drink tonight and I knew if I rode with them one of them would have to be the designated driver.

Jasper was it like always. He wasn't one to drink like Alice was. She wasn't an alcoholic but she sure did love to have a good time. I think he enjoyed watching her from the side lines anyway.

"Is that Jake?" Alice nodded over at a booth that sure enough was Jake waving at us with both of his hands. I shook my head yes and lead the way over to there table.

"Jake this is Alice and Jasper." Jacob stood to shake both of there hands.

"It's nice to finally meet you. This is my…………Leah." It almost sounded like he was about to say girlfriend.

"Hi Leah, it's good to see you again. I'm sorry Jake made it weird last time." She laughed.

"It's fine, I shouldn't have acted like that, Jake has every right to date other people." I thought it was pretty cool that she just admitted to being jealous. Jake looked a little shocked by this, I'm not sure why though unless he didn't know that was why she acted all tutorial that day.

"Well I am going to order everyone a round of drinks on me so what would everyone like?" That was Alice way of saying let the games begin.

Everyone told her what they wanted and I offered to go with her to help her with all the drinks.

"Well what do you think of Jake?" I asked her while we waited for the bartender to make are drink orders.

"I haven't really got to talk to him yet but he seems really nice. You were right about him and Leah though, they can't keep there eyes of each other."

When the bartender was finished with are drinks we made are way back over to the table. "So who is up for a little game of twenty questions to get to know each other?" I knew this was why Alice got all the shots of Jager. She never got shots unless she was planning on playing a drinking game.

Everyone agreed including me, I really wanted to be able to let loose tonight, I needed it.

"Okay, so the rules are that you get to ask a question to the person of your choice. After you ask a question that person will take a shot and than answer you, than that person gets to choose someone to ask a question to. You can only ask a person who has not had a shot, when we are done we can make another round. Jasper you can go first, I got you water so you can drive home."

"Jake, how did you meet Bella?" Jake took his shot. "The music store. Alice how long have you been married." Alice downed her shot the same as Jake had. "Five years. Leah do you have a boyfriend?" Alice winked at me and I knew she was beginning to work her magic.

"No." She looked over at Jake when she answered. "Jasper, what is your favorite thing about Alice?"

We all laughed when Jasper drank his shot of water. "She is the mother of my children." There was a round of Awes from everyone. "Bella, what do you miss most about Edward?"

I thought for a moment before taking my shot. "I miss his touch."

We did a couple more rounds after that. Alice didn't get to ask Leah anymore question. I am sure she would have brutally embarrassed her if she could have. Everyone got along great, even before the alcohol started to take it's toll.

After we were done with are little game Jasper and Alice went to dance. I wanted Jake to ask Leah to dance but I had a feeling he wasn't going to. "I think I'm going to follow them to the dance floor you two should come." I stood up to leave trying to pull Leah up from her seat to come with me. I knew if I got her to go Jake would follow.

When we got to the dance floor I started dancing with Leah. Jake looked a little nervous, he was just standing there next to her. I nodded for him to go behind her so he could dance with us. I knew he could dance, he told me in one of the conversations we had had at the diner. I think he was just scared to be that close to her.

I could tell all the shots were starting to work there way into my system. I was never good with alcohol, I was always a bit of light weight.

I left the two of them to dance on there own as soon as I saw they were getting pretty hot and heavy with each other.

I think they forgot that I was even dancing with them.

I walked over to the bar to get me a water before sitting back down at are table. I was having a lot of fun but I started feeling like I shouldn't get to drunk knowing that I was going to talk to Edward in the morning.

I really wished I would have just invited him to come with us tonight. I wasn't sure what he would think about me hanging out with Jacob for the past two weeks but I wasn't going to hide it from him. I did nothing wrong, I just made a new friend.

A guy friend but a friend.

I was hoping he would be okay with it when I told him. I had every intention in him meeting Jacob, I really was hoping the two of them could become friends. I really liked Leah and I knew if Jake and Edward got along, they would-be fun couple to add to are little group.

That is if Jake and her got back together.

It was getting close to eleven and I knew my friends were far from ready to go home. I walked back over to the dance floor to find everyone. When I found Alice and Jasper I asked them if they were ready to go home. Alice wasn't but I could tell that Jasper wanted to get her home before she had anymore to drink.

We walked back over to the table were Jacob and Leah were now sitting. Jake had his arm around her and she was playing with the collar of his shirt. I knew that she had a lot to drink, I didn't think she would be hanging all over him if she wasn't drunk.

"Don't you two look cozy." I winked at Jake.

"I think I should grab a cab and get her home………..she doesn't normally drink like this." He slid out of the booth and than picked Leah up bridal style and followed us out side. I helped him grab a cab.

"I'm going home in the morning so I probably won't call you tomorrow."

"That's fine, let me know how it goes later on in the week." He kissed me on the forehead, which I would never have let him do before but sense I was going home to Edward I was feeling a little bit better about physical contact between us, it was more of a brotherly feeling.

When we got back to Alice's I went straight to my room. I through of my dress and put on one of Edward's tee shirts I brought with me. I didn't bother to put pajama bottoms on. I grabbed my I pod knowing I would need it to get to sleep tonight. I had been here before when Alice was drunk and horny and I really didn't want to listen to it.

I fell asleep to one of my personal favorites. My lullaby.

**A/N: I know I said I would post two chapters at once but I want to get the next two just right. E&B confrontation coming up soon and I want to know what you all think is going to happen so please review. I have been getting about five reviews every post which is good enough for me so thanks to those of you who have reviewed. The next chapter will be out tomorrow or the next day, I have it just about finished.**

**By the way I have a picture of Bella's charm bracelet in the previous chapter on my profile if anyone cares. **


	8. Come Home

Come Home By One Republic

Some of my favorite quotes and I thought they went well with this chapter

"To the world you're just one person, but to one person you could mean the world"

"If I had just one wish, I'd visit the younger days and tell the younger me, "It all turns out okay"

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EPOV**

When Bella hung up on me last week I was heart broken. I really thought the effort I had been making was doing some good. She said that she loved the flowers and letter, but what I didn't understand was why she started to cry when I told her I loved her.

Did she not believe me.

I haven't called her all week. I was giving her the space that she wanted. I wasn't sure if that meant for me not to call her but that is what I did. I have been so miserable with out her, I don't know why it is that people never seem to know what they had until it's gone.

I hoped she wasn't waiting for me to call her.

I have been trying to keep myself busy all week by rearranging the spare bedroom that got nominated the junk room, I don't know how we accumulated all the stuff we had in there. I had been wanting to go through it all for awhile now but never seemed to have the time.

I also wanted to surprise Bella with something when she came home.

I hoped she would actually come home soon so I would get to give it to her. I had been working on it all week. I knew I needed to do something that showed her I loved her and still wanted her in my life, the rest of my life.

I was really excited to give it to her, it was actually something for the both of us but I knew she had been wanting it for awhile.

"This is amazing." I turned around to see Rosalie enter the room. "Sorry, you didn't here me knock and your door was open."

I pulled her into a hug. "What was that for?" She said after I released her.

"Emmett told me the good news, I'm happy for you two."

"Me to, except I have been so sick I've barley even got out of bed."

"That explains the sweats. How come your not in bed now and why is Emmett not with you?" I was confused as to why she was here if she had been sick. I was a little upset that Emmett was not keeping an eye on her.

"I needed a break from him so I had to sneak out. He has been nothing but good to me but I was starting to feel a little suffocated. He might call you soon looking for me, I left my phone at home." I laughed.

She didn't.

"Your serious. Why don't you go lay down in my bed, I will let Emmett know your okay."

"I was actually hoping I could help you."

"Are you sure, Emmett will kill me if he finds out I let you do anything other than lay down." I really wasn't up for the pain I would receive from him if anything happened to that baby.

"I'm fine right now. You can tell him that I laid down the whole time I was here." I agreed to let her help but told her she was not to lift anything and if she started to feel the slightest bit sick she was to go lay down in my bed.

I was having a lot of fun hanging out with Rose. I found out she was eight weeks pregnant and she was going to get to here the baby's heart beat at her next doctor's appointment. We talked a lot about the baby, like names she wanted for a boy and ones for a girl. Her and Emmett didn't agree on any names, she said all the names he picked out were weird. She liked all the older names and he liked the more modern names.

Ring Ring Ring

"Hello"

_"I know my wife's there and you better have her in bed." _'Its Emmett.' I mouthed to Rose.

"Yeah Em, she's in bed don't worry." I laughed at Rose while she made faces at the phone.

_"Why are you laughing?" _He sounded pissed off._  
_

"I'm not. Here's Rose." I handed the phone to Rose but she refused to take it.

I put my hand over the speaker part of the phone so Emmett couldn't here us. "If you do not take this phone I will tell him your not in bed and that your eating chocolate while dancing around my apartment."

"You wouldn't." I pulled the phone back up to my mouth but before I could say anything she swiped the phone from me.

"Hey Em………..Sorry………I'm not a baby Emmett……….Fine……….I had two donuts and a glass of orange juice……..the baby wanted it…….I know, I walked………..I feel fine Emmett…….okay seeya in a few." She hung up the phone and through it back at me. "He said he's bringing dinner. 'Donuts aren't healthy for the baby'." She quoted Emmett with air quotations.

"I can't believe you walked here." It was only a few blocks but as sick as she's been I was surprised.

While we waited for Emmett to get there I kept on working in the spare room. I sent Rose to go lay down so I wouldn't get in trouble when he got here. She didn't complain to much as long as I gave her one of the catalogs I had been looking at to take with her. She wanted to pick out some things for the house before the baby arrived.

She had awhile left but she always like to prepare for things early.

I was just about finished with my project, I only had a few more things to pick up (hence the catalog). I wanted it to be perfect. Maybe I could get Emmett to let Rose go shopping with me after dinner for a few more things if she was feeling up to it.

Ring Ring Ring

"Hello"

_"I'm sorry did I call at a bad time."_ It was Bella. I picked up so fast I didn't look at the caller ID.

"NO…I was just moving some stuff around the apartment." I didn't want to tell her exactly what I was doing but I didn't want to lie either.

_"What are you moving." _

"Just trying to rearrange the spare bedroom, you know the one we never use." I chuckled a little. I wondered if she even remembered we had a third room.

_"Oh well that's good I guess……."_ She sounded a little sad and I instantly regretted not calling her this week. I wanted her to have her space but I missed her terribly. I wanted her to come home so bad.

"Bella, are you alright, do you need something?"

_"No I'm fine, it's just I really miss you. Would it be alright with you if I came home?" _I got a huge grin on my face. I was hoping she was going to say that, not that she had to ask.

"God, I have been waiting for you to say that. Please come home, I want you home with me." I wanted her home right now I wanted to jump in my car and go and pick her up. "Do you want me to come get you?"

_"No, I can't leave my car here. I wasn't planning on coming until tomorrow…….Alice wants to go out tonight to Twilight and we probably will get back late so I will come home in the morning. Do you have class tomorrow?"_ I wasn't sure if I was ready to tell her I quit school. I was going to as soon as she got home. In a way I thought she would be happy that I would have more time to spend with her but I was so scared that she was going to be upset with me, another reason why I was not good enough, I couldn't even figure out what I wanted to do with my life. The only thing that I had figured out while she was gone was that I wanted her and I wanted to stop messing things up for her.

"Ummmm….No I dropped my Friday classes."

_"That's great Edward."_ Maybe it wouldn't be as bad as I thought it would. _"I'm glad your finally letting yourself have a much needed break."_

"Thanks Bella, I'm glad you approve……..I don't want to stop talking to you but I have a lot to do if your coming home tomorrow…..I kind of destroyed the place." "I can't wait to see you though, we have a lot to talk about." Plus I could hear that Emmett just walked in the door and I didn't want Bella hearing anything that he was going to say.

_"Yeah we do."_

"I love you." I was always going to say those words from here on out. I was never going to stop telling her how much I loved her.

_"I love you too Edward, I'll see you in the morning."_

"YES." I screamed after I hung up the phone. My wife was finally coming home.

Shit. I had a lot to do. I had to finish her surprise tonight. I knew that I could just shut the door and she probably wouldn't think twice about going in there but I really wanted it to be done when she got home.

"What are you so happy about?"

"Bella's coming home in the morning. I still have a lot to do so I was hoping you could help me."

"Not a chance, Rose your going home to bed." Emmett answered for her. I wanted to beg and plead with Emmett but I knew if Rose wanted to help she could handle him on her own.

"Em I want to help, and I'm not going to bed at six in the evening."

"Come on Rose, you need your rest."

"No Em, I'm fine, the baby's fine. And we" she gestured between herself and him "are helping."

He huffed and puffed but knew that he couldn't say no to her. He promised to help only if she would go home right after and get straight into bed.

After dinner we went shopping for a couple of hours to the places that were still open. I had pretty much everything I needed so it wasn't that hard to find the rest of the stuff. Rose also picked up a few things that she wanted for that baby. She was excited to finally be able to pick out stuff, she didn't want Alice to do it all before she got the chance.

Rose and Emmett helped me finish a few of the last minute details of the surprise before they went home for the night. I was so nervous about what Bella was going to think I couldn't get to sleep. I wanted her to be happy but I didn't want her to think that I did it just to get her back. I wanted it just as much as she did.

I just was to stupid to see what was the most important thing in my life.

I stared at the clock pretty much the whole night. When it finally said seven o'clock am I couldn't take it any more. I couldn't wait any longer to see Bella.

I jumped up and through on my jeans and a sweatshirt. I was going to go pick her up. I knew it was early but Jasper had given me a key to there house once a long time ago when Alice was almost due with Elizabeth. He also gave one to Emmett, he wanted us to be able to get in the house in case she went into labor of something.

It was a good thing he never got them back.

When I got to the house I knocked on the door first to see if anyone was already up. I didn't think they would be. I knew they went out the night before so the kids were probably staying with there parents. I unlocked the door and shut it quietly behind me so I wouldn't wake anyone up. I tiptoed down the hall and into the spare bedroom I was sure Bella was staying in.

When I opened the door I saw her laying on her side of the bed with about five pillows behind her. Very softly I moved the pillows and replaced them with myself. I didn't want to wake her yet so I just laid there. I missed her so much, her smell, how soft her skin was, the way her feet were always cold no matter how many blankets she had on.

I wanted to see her beautiful face so I carefully climbed over her so I could lay on the other side. I just watched her sleep. They say you know you love someone when you can just sit there and watch them sleep. Sometimes I wish I was a vampire that didn't have to sleep so I could watch her all night.

Bella didn't know this but every night I would wait for her to fall asleep so I could just stare at her, I wanted to memorize every detail of her face. It was the only time I felt like I could get close to her in the past year.

"Bella, wake up love. I wanna take you home."

She struggled to open her eyes but when she did and noticed it was me she smiled. "You didn't have to come get me."

"I know but I couldn't sleep, I wanted to see you."

Now that her eyes were fully open I was able to loose myself into them. I don't think I could have pulled away if I wanted to. I had wasted almost two years not staring into those big beautiful brown eyes of hers.

"I have something I want to show you."

**A/N: oooooo what do you all think the big surprise is that Edward has for Bella? I can tell you this you will find out later tonight or tomorrow morning. The chapter is already done I just want it to be perfect, well as perfect as I can get it. It's the big one you all have been waiting for. woot woot**

**Review Review **

**Lemon or no lemon that is the question.**


	9. Fall For You

**Fall For You by Secondhand Serenade**

**"Tears are words the heart cannot say"**

**"In love you lose all that you are just to find your self in the heart of your soul mate."**

* * *

"Bella, wake up love." I was having the most amazing dream. Edward and I were laying in are meadow back in Forks. He had his head on my eight month old pregnant belly trying to hear are baby. I had my eyes close just enjoying the feeling of him and I together. I don't know why he was telling me to wake up, I really didn't want to when he was whispering sweet things to the baby through my belly.

When I finally was able to open my eyes I saw the most amazing green ones staring back at me. Edward was really here, laying on the bed with me, rubbing my hair behind my ear with his fingers. "You didn't have to come get me." I tried to speak but it came out more scratchy and groggy than anything.

"I know but I couldn't sleep, I wanted to see you." I didn't expect him to be here, especially so early. I was really happy he was though. If it wasn't for the alcohol last night I probably would have just drove home to him.

I didn't want to take my eyes off of him. I hadn't seen him for three weeks, I had barely even talk to him. I missed him so much. I just wanted to climbed on him and kiss all over his beautiful face. I don't think we had looked at each other this lovingly for two years.

"I have something I want to show you." He whispered.

He tried to pull me up off the bed but I wasn't having it. I pulled him back down on top of me and slid my hand up to the back of his neck. I pulled him down to my lips before he could say anything. I had waited forever to kiss him like this and I didn't want him to ruin the moment by thinking to hard about it before hand.

I think he wanted to kiss me as bad as I did him, because he didn't pull away like I thought he would. Like he always did. Instead he slid one of his hands up to cup my cheek and rested the other one on my hip to pull us closer than we already were. His lips were so warm and gentle even thought the kiss had more passion in it than I had ever imagined possible in one single kiss.

It was a very much needed kiss.

He hadn't kissed me like this in so long. It made my toes curl and I started feeling tingles in all the places that I hadn't for so long. I didn't want to ever stop. "Bella." He moaned against my mouth. "I want to do this, but not here."

He pulled me up from the bed and I couldn't help but giggle when he tried to adjust his little problem.

I should actually say big problem, there was nothing little about it. There was no use in trying to fix it.

I started to grab my things but he stopped me. "We can get that later." I shook my head.

I put on my sweats and wrote a note to Alice saying that I would be by later to get my stuff. She drank quite a bit the night before so I was sure she wouldn't be up for a few more hours.

Edward had me follow him back in my car. He said he would come back with me later to get the rest of my things. I didn't have much at Alice's. The night I left home I hardly grabbed anything. Alice insisted on going shopping instead of just going back home to get more of my clothes. I only bought a few jeans and t-shirts not knowing how long I would be staying.

As soon as I stepped out of my car in the parking garage Edward was right there holding my hand. I was really happy, I was actually feeling like I was getting the old Edward back. I still had my wall up though, just in case it didn't last long.

When he got the door open he pulled me inside. I was so happy to be home. It was going to be nice to have my own space again. I wanted to cook in my own kitchen, I wanted to sleep in my own bed.

I walked towards the bedroom but Edward stopped me right in front of the spare room. The door was shut like always but I noticed the sign that said junk room was taken of the door. I remembered him saying yesterday on the phone that he was cleaning it up. "I want you to see the spare room first. I worked really hard to get it done this week." I knew he really did too, the place was a mess. I didn't even like stepping foot in there because it overwhelmed me so much. I nodded and proceeded to open the door.

When I was a about two steps into the room I stopped dead in my tracks, my hand instantly went to cover the surprised look I had on my mouth when I saw what he had done. There in front of me was a nursery. He bought a crib and a changing table. He even had a teddy bear theme going throughout the room. It was perfect. I rubbed my hand over the top of the changing table before opening one of the drawers, there where little tiny diapers, a bunch of different color baby booties, and there were even a bunch of pregnancy tests.

I wasn't sure what he meant by doing all this but if he was saying what I think he was, I was a little nervous. I had been wanting for this for so long but was scared that he didn't feel the same. I didn't want him to just do it for me. I wanted him to want it too.

"What are you thinking?" I almost had forgotten that Edward was still standing in the doorway.

"Do you want the honest truth?" He shook his head. I could tell that he wasn't sure if he wanted to here what I was going to say. "I think this is amazing.....but I am worried about why you did all this. I know I have wanted this but every time I tried to talk to you about it you really didn't seem that interested. Edward, I don't want you to think a baby is going to fix everything between us." I saw him wipe a tear from his eye, and I hoped I didn't just say the wrong thing.

"Bella, I didn't do this just for you. I need to tell you some things before I tell you why I did this." He sat me down on the rocker that was against one of the walls while he sat on the foot stool in front of it. "When you got your first book published I was so happy for you. I was happy that all your dreams were coming true, but when you left on your book tour something happened to me. I started feeling inadequate, I started thinking you didn't need me anymore. I thought I wasn't good enough for you. I wanted to be the kind of husband you deserved, someone who could stand next to the best selling author in the Seattle area. In a way I was jealous of your success, I pushed myself into school so I could graduate faster, I thought when I became a doctor everything would be perfect for you. I pushed my self so hard that I was to tired for anything else. I got so worked up in my own self conscience that I forgot about what was most important to me, you. Bella, I have always wanted this I was just so worried I wasn't good enough to be a father, or your husband." He took a deep breath after he was finished with his little speech.

"You're an idiot Edward. Why would you ever think that." I cried. I felt like it was my fault that he was thinking that way. "I never wanted to make you think you weren't good enough for me."

We were both in sobs now. My hands were in his but he kept removing one of them so he could wipe away some of his and my tears. "Edward, I love you so much and I don't ever want you to think like that. I don't want you to work so hard to for a career that you will hate just to prove that you are worth something. You could be a garbage man for all I care as long as you loved it. You will always be worth something to me."

"I know that, I was so stupid for thinking the way I did. You will never know how much I regret it. I am so sorry for not talking to you about it." He started fidgeting in his seat and I knew there was something else he wanted to tell me but couldn't quite find the words. I gave him another reassuring smile to let him know it was okay, I would be okay with what ever it was.

"Bella, there's something else………..I didn't just drop a few classes. I dropped out of school." He took another breath waiting for my reaction.

I jumped on his lap and through my hands around his neck. I snuggled in close to him trying to hide the sobs that were escaping. I was so happy he quit, I had been wanting him to for so long. I had a feeling he wasn't happy. He didn't even have to work if he didn't want to, that would just mean I get to see him a lot more.

"I am so glad you finally quit, I knew you weren't happy." He laughed, I think out of realization that I had been wanting the same thing.

"Bella, about the baby, if you still want it I am more than ready. I have had a lot of time to think about things. I may not have any idea what I want to do for a living, but I know I want this. I want us to start our family"

I have waited for him to say those words ever sense I lost my first baby. I have truly wanted this. The first few years of are marriage we talked about it but never acted on it. When we started distancing I tried to bring it up with him thinking maybe a baby would fix things between us. Than I started to feel guilty for even thinking of bringing a baby into the world with the mess we were going through.

I cried more just thinking about how stupid I was before.

"What's a matter did I say something wrong."

"No.....it's just this room........I really want this Edward."

He pulled me back against is body rubbing the back of my hair. "I know you do baby." He softly spoke into my ear.

He pulled away and took my face in his hands. I leaned down to him and are lips gently brushed against each others a couple times. After I couldn't take it any longer my lips collided with his. A moan escaped me as I felt the warmth of his tongue on mine.

I could feel the desire he had for me when his lips became more passionate, more urgent.

"I love you Bella...so much." Edward dropped his hands from my face and slowly slid his hands down the outside of my breast until he got to the hem of my shirt. I lifted my hands in the air to help him pull it of me.

After he removed my shirt he rapped his hands around my waist and picked me up and carried me to are bedroom. He laid me down on the bed than crawled his way up settling on top of me. He took one of his fingers and delicately started drawing patterns from the top of my chest down my arms. I couldn't help but shutter from the way he was touching me. It had been so long sense he had paid any sort of attention to me, this sort of attention to me.

It felt amazing.

He leaned down and very gently are lips touched. I wanted to deepen the kiss again but Edward had other ideas. "I want to make love to you." He spoke so softly I barely was able to make out what he said.

Ever so slowly Edward removed the rest of my clothing. Every where his hands trailed he also left a trail of kisses. I don't think there was a spot on my skin that he left untouched or unkissed.

"Edward, you have to many clothes on." I was now completely naked while he was still in his jeans and t shirt. I helped him remove his clothes not being as patient as he was with mine. I was in no hurry to get this over with, I just desperately wanted to see him. All of him.

I missed just laying there naked with him on top of me. The sensation of his skin against mine was one of my ultimate favorites. I wanted him to make love to me but I couldn't take this waiting any longer. I was going crazy with lust because of how slow he was going.

"Kiss me Edward." He kept staring into my eyes and I wondered what he was thinking. When he finally did kiss me, it was real. It was a true life shattering, sparks flying, fireworks crackling kiss. It was different this time than the others.

Edward pulled away after a few minutes for a much needed breath. His mouth never left my skin, he launched his attack on my neck and chest. My hands went straight to his hair to pull him deeper into my neck. I was beginning to feel the wet sensation between my legs and I so desperately needed him to touch me to relieve some tension.

As if hearing my thoughts he slowly ran his fingers down my stomach to my now dripping wet center. He spread my slit apart and circled my clit with his finger which caused my breath to hitch and a low moan to escape my lips into his mouth. He pushed one of his fingers into me pumping in and out while still circling my clit with his thumb.

"Bella, your so wet." I was to far gone to get a coherent answer out.

All I could do was moan some more when his lips moved back to my neck to continue there assault. He added another finger increasing the pace. The deeper he went the closer I was to orgasm. He brought his mouth down to my breast and took one of my erect nipples into his mouth. When he added a third finger I couldn't take it any more, the lust was to overwhelming. I needed him to take me.

"Edward….I need……" I couldn't get any words out, I was on the verge of pure ecstasy.

"What do you need Bella? Let me give you what you need."

I was so close I new at any moment I would explode all over his hand. "Edward.......I need you........inside me."

He removed his fingers and replaced them with his cock. I shuttered as he slowly slid into me, only stopping once I was completely full. The feel of him inside me was exquisite.

I started to rock my hips back and forth, enjoying the friction.

Edward took it very slow, are eyes locked with one another. There was nothing that could compare to being this close to the one you love. As I stared into his eyes I could see the love they held. I could feel all the love that he had been keeping inside of him in the past. I never had cried during sex before, I always thought it was a cliche movie thing to do, but I know understood why people did. When your heart is given that much love it gets to the point where you can't hold the emotion in anymore.

Edward was making love to me. Love, actual love. We weren't using each other to get off, he was telling me how sorry he was, how he messed up.

He was telling me how much he missed me.

My emotions began to grow when Edward leaned down and gave me another passion filled kiss. The sensation took me closer to my limit until finally I wasn't able to hold back any longer. Edward following only seconds after. I rapped my arms and legs around him while he was still inside of me, never wanting this feeling to end.

He leaned down to my ear whispering how much he loved me and how he was never going to stop telling or showing me. He rolled of of me way to soon for my liking but held his arms out for me to lay down on his chest. "I love you." I kissed his chest before I rested my head on it.

"Forever." He mumbled before we both fell blissfully asleep.

**A/N: Well was it everything you hoped for? I hope so because I really worked hard on it. It was my first actual lemon so tell me if it turned out all right. There is a picture of the Nursery on my profile for those of you who want to see, I wanted it to be simple yet cute. Thank you for all the reviews from the last chapter. I have not had a chance to reply to all of you and I'm truly sorry for that.**

**I wanted to add more to this chapter but I felt like I ended it in a good place. E&B needed there time.**

**Thank you to all of you who loaned me Edward for this chapter. LOL I don't think I will give him back though.**


	10. AN

**A/N: I know I have not updated for about a week, truth is I kind of hit a road block with this story. I want to keep writing it, it just might be a little bit longer before I can actually get a chapter out.**

**Also those of you who have read While We Wait, I will not be finishing that story. Sorry. If any of you would like to rewrite it or finish it you are welcome too, just let me know.**

**When I sat down to write another chapter for More Than Words my mind kind of drifted to something else. It's a different kind of story than I have read before. Not that there is not any out there. It's kinda of a collaboration of six different story's. Sort of like a TV series in a way. It will be in are favorite six characters POV's. I haven't had any reviews yet on it but I really like my Idea so I will keep it up. You should all go check it out. **

**Each Character will have there own story to tell throughout the chapters, and by the end they will all have collided into one big story. It sounds great in my head so I hope it will also be a great read. My computer is having Internet problems but I hope to get that fixed soon and have a new chapter for both of my story's.**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: I know, I know, I have been gone for awhile. I just moved my family into a new house this past month and my laptop is still in storage. I have my husbands desktop that I use to read all my favorite fan fics but I don't like to write on it. Most of my stuff is saved on my laptop. Also as you all know Christmas is almost here and I have been doing a lot of family things, like shopping, Christmas party's, more shopping. All that wonderful stuff that goes along with holidays.**

**I wrote a little Sneak Peek of sorts about how the next chapter will go but I don't think I will be able to get one out until after the holidays. I want to go ahead and finish While We Wait for those of you who were reading it. I was laying in bed the other night (not able to sleep as always) thinking about my story's and where I want them to go.**

**First of all, I know exactly how I want to finish While We Wait and I already have the out line of all the chapters until the end. So after Christmas I am just going to get my laptop out and write them up and post them all at once.**

**Second of all, I only have the next chapter of More Than Words on my laptop so any Ideas of how you would like this story to end would be helpful except you really won't be able to do that with out the next chapter. I was hoping this little peek at it would help.  
**

**Third and not least, my new story It's A Small World hasn't got one review and I am kinda of discouraged from writing it. I thought I had a great idea but I am having a little trouble writing it down. I would still love to write it but I think it will be just for me. I have a few other ideas but I am going to try to finish my main two story's first. Thanks for being so patient with me. I am trying but my wife and motherly duty's come first.**

* * *

Here I am.

Waiting.

Waiting for what felt like the hundredth time.

It has been almost six months sense me and Edward started trying to get pregnant. It pretty much has been non stop sex sense that day. Not that we weren't enjoying ourselves, we were just starting to get discouraged.

"It's been three minutes." I looked up from the edge of the bathtub to where Edward was now staring at the little white stick on the counter top. He had been amazing through this whole thing, telling me it wasn't my fault and that it probably just wasn't time. I know he was feeling really bad he couldn't get me pregnant.

I could tell by the frown on his face that it was negative. _Again _" Don't cry Bella, it's okay we can keep trying." He rushed to my side and pulled me into his arms.

"I don't know Edward, maybe I should go see a specialist." We had talked about this a little the last time the test was negative, but he really didn't want to half to have help with having a baby. He said if the next test was negative I could make an appointment.

"I know you want to see a doctor Bella, I just feel really bad that I half to have help getting you pregnant."

"Edward, why do you think this is your fault, you could be totally fine it could be me." "Let's just make the appointment, it might be nothing."

Edward sighed. I knew he would do anything to make this happen for us. "Fine."


End file.
